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I broke up with you, didn’t Facebook tell you?

March 7, 2013

So I’m not the best when it comes to breakups, but really, who is?  No one wants to tell someone that they just didn’t make the cut, that their overall personality (or even looks) just didn’t jibe with what we are looking for in a mate. It’s even harder to remove the traces of an ex-lover. Now, like for everything hard in life, there’s an app for that.

In the  digital version of Eternal Sunshine On A Spotless Mind, Killswitch promises to make “breakups suck less” by discreetly erasing any connections and reminders of an ex. (I love the name, tagline, and concept).  Made by two twenty-something females, a friend’s messy breakup inspired them to create an app that simulated throwing away old pictures, gifts, and memories of a former flame.

A girl throws her heart away

For those who may not have cut a relationship off so cleanly, there is an app made by–get this– Brazilian soft drink company Guaraná Antarctica (Content marketing at it’s finest?).  Aptly called The Ex-Lover Blocker, this app will let humiliation loose if you attempt to call an ex by sending out a warning to your closest friends and posts an update on Facebook about your heart-weak ongoings.  This one would’ve helped me with one breakup that I just couldn’t sever completely (It eventually turned into an even bigger mess).

And of course there is the bit more well-known website Never Liked It Anyway, a community that allows jadded newly-single people capitalize on their broken hearts.  With a somewhat bitter name, this website not only can make someone some fast cash, but is a perfect way to make a public decry of the “pig” or “bitch” that was the gifter of the ware for sale.  This website is so popular that apparently they’re making a TV series based on it’s services.

Is there an app you wish you had to make a breakup easier?  For me, it would’ve been handy to alert me when an ex was in a restaurant, bar, or any other public space so as to avoid awkward crossings.  (Receiving death stares never feels good)

By +Maggie Young

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